tolex

Customizing Guitar Amplifiers

This blog post goes out to the kids. Yeah the kids. The emo’s, screamos, dreamos, the yet to has-been-ohs, etcetera, etcetera. The beardies, the weirdies, the wannabe’s, the dripsters, the guys who wear flannel. The sloths – Emo and bearded all over – at the same time. Saweet. Yeah dig? You know what Stevie Wonder’s favourite colour is? Yes? It’s corduroy.

You probably think those dweebs in the KIA car advert can play their instruments. LMFAO. ROFLMAO. GAFL. It’s about time you listened to Live at Leeds instead of that weepy, fey, skinny, beardster tripe you got free with your spineless frappuccino at Starbux.

generic Japanese mass produced black box

Okay. When that generic Japanese mass produced black box with the blinking lights and the shitty, fisher price, robot, all-in-one, delay-chorus-flange-arpeggiator chipset thing  is starting to look as grotty, cheap, nasty, and tatty as it eventually begins to sound after you’ve pushed it up full tilt one time too many…

Emo Screamo Dreamo

What can you do?

Well you have two options if you do not have the clams | beans | moulah | dough | spondoolicks | green | dosh | cash | work ethic | will | job | to upgrade to something that actually sounds good. Sheesh, life can be tough.

Trust me, I feel your pain, I spent a few years on the other side of nowhere, chewing on thin air – when I couldn’t get my hand on a purple tolex SOLDANO, I played through a Line 6 Spider.

It stood up for a while but by the time I’d cranked it a little, it rattled like a snake with toothache and sounded like a ton of rubble in a spin dryer. Rough. Anyway, the options to those of you without the money to buy a serious guitar amplifier:

1. Destroy.

Smash it to pieces with a sledgehammer, vandalise it with paint or simply set fire to it. Hey, it was fun right up until the last minute.

2. Bastardise.

Bastardising, is the English Ruffian’s term for “customise”…So, while you are ripping your amp to pieces – give it some real personality with some cool speaker grill, speaker cloth and such.

Lick My Decals off Baby

Bastardise…it means rip off all the old crap and replace it with the kind of funky, freak-out, brightly coloured decals, switching, tolex, speaker grills and speaker cloth that you can get your hands on. Or maybe, you don’t ride a Harley or Drive a steampunk Rat Rod. Buy a fat jar of industrial strength EVO STIK and head out to your garage / toolshed.

tolex

Punk Sloth

For those of you who don’t already “like, totally live on Pabst” and Woodbines, you might also seek special D.I.Y. liquids such as Guinness, Armagnac, Lagavulin, Kronenbourg.

Make sure you have everything ready before you begin. If you are not sure where to buy these ask an irresponsible adult to help you out. Here are some links to the kind of parts you might need to customise your guitar amplifier.

Tolex Amp Covering

Not to be mistaken for a rather expensive and gaudy watch sold by Derek Trotter, Tolex is the trade name of a flexible vinyl used for covering Fender Amplifiers that has now become the generic term for guitar amplifier and guitar case coverings.

Generic Tolex is available in a huge range of colours and patterns – Fawn, Sparkle,  Silver Levant, Lime Green, Red Wine,Rough Blonde, Snakeskin, Bronco, Palomino, Bravura, Neo, Pink, Blue, Black.




Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 wide Black Bronco
Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 wide Black Bronco $6.95
Time Remaining: 13d 2h 2m
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Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 36 high quality Black Bronco
Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 36 high quality Black Bronco $11.95
Time Remaining: 13d 2h 2m
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Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 36 wide Electric Blue Snakeskin
Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 36 wide Electric Blue Snakeskin $13.95
Time Remaining: 10d 3h 2m
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Tolex Amplifier Cabinet Covering Vinyl Tweed 18 Width
Tolex Amplifier Cabinet Covering Vinyl Tweed 18 Width $10.95
Time Remaining: 24d 1h 54m
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Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 wide Black Taurus
Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 wide Black Taurus $8.25
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Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Wine Taurus
Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Wine Taurus $6.95
Time Remaining: 13d 2h 2m
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Tolex Amplifier Cabinet Covering Navy Blue Bronco 18 Width
Tolex Amplifier Cabinet Covering Navy Blue Bronco 18 Width $7.95
Time Remaining: 25d 3h 32m
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Tolex Amplifier Cabinet Covering Light Tan Fawn 18 Width for Vox Amps
Tolex Amplifier Cabinet Covering Light Tan Fawn 18 Width for Vox Amps $9.95
Time Remaining: 25d 3h 32m
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Black bronco levant tolex NEW 2×12 KIT
Black bronco levant tolex NEW 2x12 KIT $27.99
Time Remaining: 24d 15h 18m
Buy It Now for only: $27.99
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Tolex Amplifier Cabinet Covering Seafoam Green Bronco 18 Width
Tolex Amplifier Cabinet Covering Seafoam Green Bronco 18 Width $9.95
Time Remaining: 25d 3h 32m
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Speaker Grill and Speaker Grill Cloth

Don’t be a sloth – get some cloth.
Well, that poxy 8″ ‘bus-woofer’ made out of bamboo pulp in Mistah Kurtz sunken Namcoh shack is never going to cut it when you finally get to jam with Dan Aurbach but at least it will look half decent if you hide it’s queasy cycloptic eye with some hardcore speaker grill.

This is why Bentley, Rolls Royce and Lamborghini pay much attention to the radiator grilles, ventilation and other discontinuous, colloidal membranes on their supercars. Yes, it’s because it looks fucking cool.
You know what to do.




Vintage Gold Speaker Grill Cloth Art Deco Old Antique Radio Grille Restoration
Vintage Gold Speaker Grill Cloth Art Deco  Old Antique Radio Grille Restoration $10.00
Time Remaining: 6d 23h 49m
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All Colors Stereo Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric 36 x 66 165 Square Feet FT 3D US
All Colors Stereo Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric 36 x 66 165 Square Feet FT 3D US $8.99
Time Remaining: 1d 21h 8m
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LT Grey Stereo Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric 36×66 165 Square Feet Stretches 3D
LT Grey Stereo Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric 36x66 165 Square Feet Stretches 3D $8.99
Time Remaining: 6d 16h 2m
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SPEAKER STEREO GRILL CLOTH FABRIC BLACK HUGE 40X60
SPEAKER STEREO GRILL CLOTH FABRIC BLACK HUGE 40X60 $9.64
Time Remaining: 19d 23h 30m
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Vintage Gold Speaker Grill Cloth Art Deco Old Antique Radio Grille Restoration
Vintage Gold Speaker Grill Cloth Art Deco  Old Antique Radio Grille Restoration $9.00
Time Remaining: 16h
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Black Stereo Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric 36 x 66 165 Square Ft Stretches 3D US
Black Stereo Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric 36 x 66 165 Square Ft Stretches 3D US $8.99
Time Remaining: 5d 20h 20m
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Speaker Grill Cloth Stereo Gille Fabric Speaker Mesh Cloth Prevent Dust 14x05M
Speaker Grill Cloth Stereo Gille Fabric Speaker Mesh Cloth Prevent Dust 14x05M $6.99
Time Remaining: 9d 4h 15m
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Vintage Gold Speaker Grill Cloth Art Deco Old Antique Radio Grille Restoration
Vintage Gold Speaker Grill Cloth Art Deco  Old Antique Radio Grille Restoration $10.00
Time Remaining: 6d 16h 22m
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Antique Radio GRILLE CLOTH Fabric Vintage SPEAKER Repair Restoration Bbs 4
Antique Radio GRILLE CLOTH Fabric Vintage SPEAKER Repair Restoration  Bbs 4 $11.99
Time Remaining: 27d 23h 9m
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Vintage Black Gold Speaker Grill Cloth Art Deco Old Antique Radio Grille
Vintage Black  Gold Speaker Grill Cloth Art Deco  Old Antique Radio Grille $10.00
Time Remaining: 3d 1h 27m
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Dialled

If you really want to look classy, and crazy, take the Flash Gordon route to switchgear – break out the old school rheostatic potentiometers and emblazon your box with as much huge, hard-core 1950’s decalcomaniac dialling you can find. Don’t do it to your guitar and add a mirrored scratchplate, you will look like a whore.

Look for “knobs” in pro audio equipment on Ebay  – the thing here, isn’t working. Sorry.