tolex

Customizing Guitar Amplifiers

This blog post goes out to the kids. Yeah the kids. The emo’s, screamos, dreamos, the yet to has-been-ohs, etcetera, etcetera. The beardies, the weirdies, the wannabe’s, the dripsters, the guys who wear flannel. The sloths – Emo and bearded all over – at the same time. Saweet. Yeah dig? You know what Stevie Wonder’s favourite colour is? Yes? It’s corduroy.

You probably think those dweebs in the KIA car advert can play their instruments. LMFAO. ROFLMAO. GAFL. It’s about time you listened to Live at Leeds instead of that weepy, fey, skinny, beardster tripe you got free with your spineless frappuccino at Starbux.

generic Japanese mass produced black box

Okay. When that generic Japanese mass produced black box with the blinking lights and the shitty, fisher price, robot, all-in-one, delay-chorus-flange-arpeggiator chipset thing  is starting to look as grotty, cheap, nasty, and tatty as it eventually begins to sound after you’ve pushed it up full tilt one time too many…

Emo Screamo Dreamo

What can you do?

Well you have two options if you do not have the clams | beans | moulah | dough | spondoolicks | green | dosh | cash | work ethic | will | job | to upgrade to something that actually sounds good. Sheesh, life can be tough.

Trust me, I feel your pain, I spent a few years on the other side of nowhere, chewing on thin air – when I couldn’t get my hand on a purple tolex SOLDANO, I played through a Line 6 Spider.

It stood up for a while but by the time I’d cranked it a little, it rattled like a snake with toothache and sounded like a ton of rubble in a spin dryer. Rough. Anyway, the options to those of you without the money to buy a serious guitar amplifier:

1. Destroy.

Smash it to pieces with a sledgehammer, vandalise it with paint or simply set fire to it. Hey, it was fun right up until the last minute.

2. Bastardise.

Bastardising, is the English Ruffian’s term for “customise”…So, while you are ripping your amp to pieces – give it some real personality with some cool speaker grill, speaker cloth and such.

Lick My Decals off Baby

Bastardise…it means rip off all the old crap and replace it with the kind of funky, freak-out, brightly coloured decals, switching, tolex, speaker grills and speaker cloth that you can get your hands on. Or maybe, you don’t ride a Harley or Drive a steampunk Rat Rod. Buy a fat jar of industrial strength EVO STIK and head out to your garage / toolshed.

tolex

Punk Sloth

For those of you who don’t already “like, totally live on Pabst” and Woodbines, you might also seek special D.I.Y. liquids such as Guinness, Armagnac, Lagavulin, Kronenbourg.

Make sure you have everything ready before you begin. If you are not sure where to buy these ask an irresponsible adult to help you out. Here are some links to the kind of parts you might need to customise your guitar amplifier.

Tolex Amp Covering

Not to be mistaken for a rather expensive and gaudy watch sold by Derek Trotter, Tolex is the trade name of a flexible vinyl used for covering Fender Amplifiers that has now become the generic term for guitar amplifier and guitar case coverings.

Generic Tolex is available in a huge range of colours and patterns – Fawn, Sparkle,  Silver Levant, Lime Green, Red Wine,Rough Blonde, Snakeskin, Bronco, Palomino, Bravura, Neo, Pink, Blue, Black.




NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Black Bronco
NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Black Bronco $6.95
Time Remaining: 19d 22h 48m
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NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 36 high quality Black Bronco
NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 36 high quality Black Bronco $11.95
Time Remaining: 4d 22h 52m
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NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Black Panama
NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Black Panama $6.95
Time Remaining: 4d 22h 54m
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Rough black tolex aka black nubtex NEW 4×12 KIT
Rough black tolex aka black nubtex NEW 4x12 KIT $36.99
Time Remaining: 22d 15h 42m
Buy It Now for only: $36.99
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NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 36 high quality Hot White Bronco
NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 36 high quality Hot White Bronco $11.95
Time Remaining: 23d 19h 16m
Buy It Now for only: $11.95
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NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Black Taurus
NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Black Taurus $8.25
Time Remaining: 21d 23h 20m
Buy It Now for only: $8.25
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Tolex amplifier cabinet covering Smooth Brown 1 yard 36 x 54
Tolex amplifier cabinet covering Smooth Brown 1 yard 36 x 54 $12.99
Time Remaining: 1d 4h 34m
Buy It Now for only: $12.99
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NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Red Bronco
NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 18 high quality Red Bronco $6.95
Time Remaining: 4d 22h 53m
Buy It Now for only: $6.95
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NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 21 X 53 High quality SNAKESKIN
NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 21 X 53 High quality SNAKESKIN $12.99
Time Remaining: 29d 21h 25m
Buy It Now for only: $12.99
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NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 54 hi quality Oxblood Burgundy
NEW Tolex amplifier cabinet covering 1 yard x 54 hi quality Oxblood Burgundy $8.99
Time Remaining: 27d 21h 6m
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Speaker Grill and Speaker Grill Cloth

Don’t be a sloth – get some cloth.
Well, that poxy 8″ ‘bus-woofer’ made out of bamboo pulp in Mistah Kurtz sunken Namcoh shack is never going to cut it when you finally get to jam with Dan Aurbach but at least it will look half decent if you hide it’s queasy cycloptic eye with some hardcore speaker grill.

This is why Bentley, Rolls Royce and Lamborghini pay much attention to the radiator grilles, ventilation and other discontinuous, colloidal membranes on their supercars. Yes, it’s because it looks fucking cool.
You know what to do.




36 Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric Silver Turquoise Stripe
36 Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric Silver Turquoise Stripe $23.23
Time Remaining: 26d 16h 33m
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SPEAKER STEREO GRILL CLOTH FABRIC BLACK HUGE 40X60
SPEAKER STEREO GRILL CLOTH FABRIC BLACK HUGE 40X60 $9.64
Time Remaining: 15d 22h 13m
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Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric Oxblood Yard 36 Wide
Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric Oxblood Yard 36 Wide $23.14
Time Remaining: 26d 16h 33m
Buy It Now for only: $23.14
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SPEAKER STEREO GRILL CLOTH FABRIC BLACK SMALL PIECE 60×20
SPEAKER STEREO GRILL CLOTH FABRIC BLACK SMALL PIECE 60x20 $8.64
Time Remaining: 18d 16h 51m
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All Colors Stereo Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric 36 x 66 165 Square Feet 3D US
All Colors Stereo Speaker Grill Cloth Fabric 36 x 66 165 Square Feet 3D US $8.49
Time Remaining: 27d 19h 52m
Buy It Now for only: $8.49
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BEST Quality Jet Black SPEAKER GRILL CLOTH Stereo Grille Fabric A 569
BEST Quality Jet Black SPEAKER GRILL CLOTH Stereo Grille Fabric  A 569 $19.95
Time Remaining: 23d 1h 15m
Buy It Now for only: $19.95
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Jet Black SPEAKER ACOUSTIC GRILL CLOTH Stereo Grille Fabric A 569
Jet Black SPEAKER ACOUSTIC GRILL CLOTH Stereo Grille Fabric  A 569 $19.95
Time Remaining: 24d 1h 47m
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BEST Quality Speaker Repair Glue Grill Cloth Adhesive Dust Caps Cones MI 3035
BEST Quality Speaker Repair Glue Grill Cloth Adhesive Dust Caps Cones MI 3035 $7.95
Time Remaining: 5d 21h 9m
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48×36 Black Grill Cloth for Guitar Speaker Cab 122cm x 91cm
48x36 Black Grill Cloth for Guitar Speaker Cab 122cm x 91cm $12.00
Time Remaining: 10d 18h 14m
Buy It Now for only: $12.00
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24 x 18 Tan Grill Cloth For Guitar Amp Amplifier Speaker Cab DIY
24 x 18 Tan Grill Cloth For Guitar Amp Amplifier Speaker Cab DIY $4.50
Time Remaining: 27d 5h 15m
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Dialled

If you really want to look classy, and crazy, take the Flash Gordon route to switchgear – break out the old school rheostatic potentiometers and emblazon your box with as much huge, hard-core 1950’s decalcomaniac dialling you can find. Don’t do it to your guitar and add a mirrored scratchplate, you will look like a whore.

Look for “knobs” in pro audio equipment on Ebay  – the thing here, isn’t working. Sorry.